Oh dear...

Puppy Love...

We let the puppies sleep in our room, since we have the heat turned way down low and we're just using the space heater, but I kicked them out in the morning.

Good morning Sunshine, I want to take your picture!
B-man did not approve of this picture. I love snuggling. I did not know I loved snuggling until I met him, but he is the best snuggler I have ever met.

B-man got up to go potty, and I laid out a towel (to protect the sheets from B-man's amazing ability to get syrup any where) and then brought in the breakfast. It was nice to just enjoy the space heater and talk about the puppies we had kicked out of the room.

Then I gave him my gift. We hadn't really talked about exchanging gifts, and I didn't expect him to get me anything, but I wanted to give him a little something to show how much I appreciate him. A small gift, weighing in at $6 and a home made card. He likes it when I'm crafty.

We finished out breakfast, and I decided to be nice and humor his choice in netflix (Transformers...) so I was clearing off the couch to settle in for a two and a half hour snuggle, when I found my present from him!

We had been in the car listening to the soundtrack when I said that it was probably my favorite movie of all time, but that I didn't have a copy of it. So thoughtful. He told me that we could watch it "sing-a-long" style, with the subtitles. Hmm. My favorite! (those peanut butter cups where part of my gift to him... they're the wal*mart brand. A million times better than Reese's cups. Reese's where his favorite, then I told him these were better. He was willing to give it a try, and he whole-heartedly agreed. So I bought him his own bag... that he shared. Hm, love!

So, first we watched transformers, which was... interesting. Then we stopped for dinner.

I made fancy, heart shaped pizza. There was no pre-shredded cheese, or store bought crust. It was much better than I expected. We made it together. Well, I made the dough, and baked the crust, and did most of it... but he put on the Italian pepperoni, and some of the fancy sliced mozzerella cheese. He helped. Then we made dessert:

Strawberries aren't in season, so the tops were almost all greenish... but they were good none the less. I also made chocolate dipped banana... but those weren't as pretty.

We sat down to watch the Phantom of the Opera, ah! Love! It was perfect, sitting on our uncomfy sofa, with our deca from the bed, and the dogs at our feet. I know, it doesn't sound picturesque, but I love my beautiful life with my fabulous husband.

Today we went to the grocery store, because after all of the cooking I did this weekend, we were out of a bunch of things. I also wanted to start in on our food storage. So, we bought some canned fruit, vegetables, peanut butter, and evaporated milk. I need to buy another can opener. We also bought a little camp stove to keep with all of this, and the gas to go with it. It's not a lot, but it's a start.

Then we passed the flowers. Marked half off. I couldn't resist. I picked some out. Then B-man told me that he had looked into ordering some to be delivered (since we have but one car, and I use it to drive to school, since he works from home), but it was too expensive. I'm so glad he didn't. I do love flowers, but I loved them more when they cost $7.50.

All in all it was a wonderful Valentine's day. Last year Brandan put together a bunch of elaborate plans to treat and surprise me, and this year I kind of got to dote on him. He was worried about "living up to" those plans, but this year was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. We spent the whole day together, just watching movies and enjoying each others' company.

And he did all the dishes.

I love...

... doing stupid things to make my husband laugh. Some time I will say things I know are inappropriate or awkward, but to get that little smile on his face.

... when my puppy jumps around because I'm in the room. Instant love.

... Tennessee. I know... for some one who hates living here so much it is a weird thing to say. But my cute little family is here. So I want to be here too.

... playing board games with my friends.

I watched quite a bit of the olympic opening ceremonies. Very impressive. I wonder what the ad looks like for that kind of event:

"Wanted, people who can dance, jump around, and play the violin like crazy... all at the same time."

Hmmm...

It's getting late, so I am going to bed soon... as soon as B-man finishes the dishes. <3

I took a beautiful picture today.

With Brandan's camera.

It ended up having a bunch of static in the file.

So I have nothing to share.

But I will take the same picture again tomorrow with my, better, camera.

0oO0oO0oOo0

I don't have any new pictures to share. It's been so cold in the house, I mostly stay cuddled up as much as possible. PLUS... my batteries died and apparently we don't have any more, but it's so cold I don't want to do and buy more at the store.

So I had been petitioning a class, and my petition was accepted! My major requires us to take this ethics class. At some point I'm sure this class was actually an applied ethics class, but now it is completely theory based. I was unhappy to find this out. So, I went and talked to my advisor, and told her about this class I had already taken which was an applied ethics class and she petitioned it for me and now I have one less class to take this semester! That was the high light of my week. On a Wednesday!

Today I started this game that Brandan really enjoys. It's like, a game within a game. It's called the Legacy Challenge, and it's a part of Sims 3. Which is like... playing house, for big kids. Except in this version, you start out poor, there are no cheats allowed, and you have to *hopefully* have 10 generations live after your "founding" Sim. It's more complicated than this, but I didn't think it would be my kind of game. I usually start out with a Sim that is super smart and super rich. Then I give them everything they want and they don't have to work. It gets boring. So I am trying this out. My second generation is born!

Tomorrow I have four classes.... that's it! Yippee!!!

I can't spell any of these words.

My list is long.

My list of things I would prefer to do is longer.

Tonight B-man and I watched "Memoirs of a Geisha." It was a very interesting, albeit sad and kind of stressful, movie. I did not realize that Japan had such diverse culture during WWII even. The life of the Geisha, and the meaning and "rituals" behind it were very interesting. Though, is is based on the book... which was written by a man... who was definitely not a Geisha. So... take everything with a grain of salt. Especially things men say.

Today I turned in beautiful, honest work. We do these reading journals, and for the fist time I didn't just do it for the sake of doing it. I really did my homework to learn and to ask questions. This is a new thing for me. There might be more of it.

Tomorrow I have a test, and a presentation. I'm not really sure what I am going to do. I will probably have to take my computer tomorrow so that I can work on it. But I know I will not be able to get a lot of work done just because I really need to pay attention in my class so that I can learn. That's how I learn... the listening.

I wish I could write more, but my husband just pointed out that I have homework and sleep to catch up on. Boo. I was enjoying this blogging thing.

We had a party!

It's time to get your party hats and decorations out....

Why? Because it's ZUKO's BIRTHDAY!!!!!

He's my wittle puppy!

Happy Birthday!

Today our little puppy, Zuko, turns one year old! It's crazy how fast the little bugger grew!

This was when I first got him. Her was so tiny and could fit in my hand. He's probably only a few weeks old here.

Compared to Gretel her was itty-bitty! Not that he's huge now, but he has grown considerably!

Then he grew these huge ears and this super long snout. He's too cute for his own good.

Now he is considerably longer, larger, and muscular. BUT, he is still the best snuggler in the world, and very home. Such a tolerant dog, great with kids and with other dogs. Good thing, the vet told us that he'll probably live to be about 20 years old!

Happy Birthday my Puppy Love.

A bit about me...

*your cell phone? ~Usually dead. I kind of like being able to go about my life without the constant interruptions of my phone. If you need me leave a message. I'll get back to you. Or better yet - send me an e-mail.

*your hair? ~shoulder length, with what used to be purple/pink streaks that have turned red now.
*your mother? ~is awesome.
*your father? ~awesome, but not as much as my mom.
*your favorite food? ~Macaroni and Cheese, bananas, wheat thins
*your dream last night? ~B-man was leaving for something, my Mama was mad at me, and some girls from high school where there. Weird dream.
*your favorite drink? ~ lemonade
*your dream/goal? ~I aspire to be a happy, thinner, crafty, kinder version of myself. I'm always working on that.
*what room are you in? ~the office
*your hobby? ~sleeping, taking pictures, being crafty.
*your fear? ~being alone.
*where do you see yourself in 6 years?~ being a Mommy.
*where were you last night? ~watching TV with my hubby and painting
*something that you aren't? ~studious.
*muffins?~ warm ones.
*wish list item? ~Honestly - I have everything I need, and most of what I want. If I could get anything else it would be to improve on my home organization or to improve my disaster readiness/food storage.
*where did you grow up? ~college.
*last thing you did? ~edit pictures
*what are you wearing? ~ lounging clothes?

*your tv? ~inherited from my parents.
*your pets? ~ Gretel (dog, 11 y/o Australian Shepard mix), and Zuko (dog, 1 y/o, Chihuahua Spitz mix)
*friends?~ My husband, Chrissy, and an expanse of friends from my youth that now cover the globe.
*your life?~ blessed
*your mood? ~unmotived
*missing someone? ~extended family
*vehicle? ~honda civic
*something you aren't wearing? ~bra!
*your favorite store? ~wal*mart...Target... JoAnn's...
*your favorite color? ~BLUE
*when was the last time you laughed?~I'm always laughing. I married B-man!
*the last time you cried? ~ I cry all the time. I'm just crazy like that.
*your best friend? ~B-man.
*one place you go to over and over again? ~bed
*facebook?~ all the time
*favorite place to eat? ~ any where, as long as they serve chicken.

So, there you had it. My life all bundled up into a neat little package.

Live.Laugh.Love

Brandan's Christmas present to me was a beautiful silver locket. I had wanted it engraved, but when he bought it, he wasn't sure WHAT to engrave on it. Since I haven't legally changed my last name I think he gets a little nervous about pushing things on me. Regardless, I went with my new set of initials, JNR. I think it looks like "junior" but that's ok.

You know what I love about being married? Doing nothing. I love doing nothing together, and I intend on enjoying it while I can. We watch TV together, or do our own thing, at the same time. Last night we watched a show on the History channel. We watch a lot of History. I think today I am going to let him play Sims 3 while I go work on my crafty craft projects.

I love that my hubby supports me in all of my crazy and random hobbies. I painted this last night as we watched the history channel. This canvas was left over from a previous art project, and it was just waiting to become something. I had planned on doing something like "reed" in coke red and the coca-cola text to go in my red kitchen, but I just didn't have the time, inspiration or energy to make that work. Maybe next time. For now I just have this.

My mother has a a sign in her home that says "Live well, Laugh Often, Love Always." and I have always really like it. So, I decided I would do my own version of it. A constant reminder to enjoy what I've been given. To appreciate waking up at 11 and B-man cooking mac'n'cheese for me, and him taking the dogs out so I don't have to. He does the little things that make me feel spoiled. I love him so much.

I need more time in my day...

If days had 100 hours in them I would still never accomplish what I want to. Here are a few pictures of my current projects.

1) Mommy & Me quilt.

Fabric: Figgy Pudding by Basic Grey for Moda

My mom and I made the quilt, and then I used a friend's long arm machine to do the actual quilting. I just need to finishing hand stitching the binding, and then it is done!

A close up of my quilting.

The trees on this quilt are 3-d, so it's a very fun, graphic quilt. I love it. =)

2) Brandan's Quilt

I made it for Christmas last year, and still haven't finished it. The sewing is all done, but I need to clip the edges and wash/dry it so that it becomes all fluffy.

3) I started making stockings with the left overs of the figgy pudding fabric, so now I just need to get them ironed, sewn together and put the binding on. All of the cutting is done. lol.

There is a lot more things I want to do, but these things need to happen first. I just need to remember "I enjoy this stuff!" lol.

A little preview...

A small hint of what's to come!

Snow, Snow, go away...

Seems all of our family is snowed in, and we are snowed out. We had intended on driving up to VA today, but no such luck and the weather is being ridiculous. So I am homemaking fudge and sugar cookies, cleaning up around the house, and packing for our eventual trip north!

Welcome Home, motivation!

I really like blogging. But blogging takes time, and lately all I've wanted to do was sleep. Thankfully, and a little adjusting of my body chemistry, I'm awake. I even do dishes and laundry now!

Recently I spoke with a nutritionist, after a trip to the doctors of course. I was told that I'm too pale, anemic, and having kidney/liver problems. So... a few days later, I'm working on this "whole foods" things. Going "organic"... lol. It seems more like a fad, but I think I will manage. Brandan doesn't mind so much, since it means I put time and thought into the meals and we don't go to prepare dinner and have no food in the pantry. One day I will be one of those super prepared people who plans out menus and what not, but for now I just buy the "organic" version of whatever I was buying before + more green food. We tried edemame (spelling?) tonight. I added it to my fried rice. So... it was soy bean, broccolli, corn fried rice. I don't think I cooked the beans the right way (despite following the directions to a T...) so I will have to give it another shot. But Brandan was a good sport and told me it tasted good (I'm sure he would've preffered chicken to the soy beans, but in the middle of finals I can't do the two meals thing... plus... I would probably want the chicken too and then my calorie count would be blown and then poof! I'd probably gain twelve pounds just for thinking about the delicious ice cream I got to consume thanks to the low-cal version of dinner we had. So... take that!).

School is almost over. I have three take home exams, and a filmed test on Tuesday. Tomorrow will be test day. Tuesday I am meeting up with my Botswana-friend to do another take-home exam, and then I am taking my filmed-test... and then I will be free to gallivant around my house in pajamas and a leopard print apron making bread a cookies! I got this... clay baking pot thing from Brandan's mom for Christmas, so I am going to christen it by making bread in it. I have all of the ingredients, so now I just have to do it!

So... now I am going to go swiffer the kitchen because yesterday it snowed and Gretel tracked in mud. Despite the cuteness of her pay prints around my house, I don't think Brandan likes it very much!

Picture Time:

Four Score and Seven Years Ago...

So, I got a text message today suggesting I update my blog. Now, I could update with everything I have been doing lately, but that would be extremely boring as all I've been doing lately is school. Lots of school. Back in October I got really sick, I had a kidney infection, was anemic and sleeping far too much. So... when I wasn't in class or doing homework I was sleeping!

Now I am trying to catch up on all of the stuff I've been missing! Brandan and I are doing well. Our house is put together, our two dogs are perfect, and our fish is just bubbly! Brandan is enjoying his work, but looking forward to actually working in an office again!

I am currently in the middle of crazy exams! I have a paper I should be writing at the moment, due in like... 4 or 5 hours... but I figured this wouldn't take too long! On Sunday I went and interpreted for Deaf Awareness day at Dollywood. It was a lot of fun and a good experience. I am really starting to step into the "interpreter" shoes and enjoy what I am studying, instead of constantly worrying.

Tomorrow Brandan and I are heading up to Northern VA to spend some time with our families, so that should be a hoot, albeit a lot of driving! That's ok. Brandan could use the practise. In the meantime I am going to go write my paper about the affects of having a deaf child and how that changes the family. Good times!

PS: My title is an ode to a recent assignment I had... interpreting the Gettysburg Address. Yippee

One month down, a bunch more to go!

So yesterday was our one month anniversary. I didn't feel like cooking, and so we went to eat at the Texas Steakhouse. It was pretty good. Then we went back to the house and watched out Netflix, Baby Mama. I guess it didn't get rave reviews, but I thought it was pretty funny.

School is definitely rolling now. I took my first quiz this week, and I got a 90% on it. I have two more, and I definitely need to study for them. I'm kind of frustrated because I ordered my books online, and I only have 3 of them right now. I definitely need the rest to get here ASAP. I guess two of them were sent to my parents' home, so Mama is sending them to me now, and then the last two are coming from Great Britain... so they have quite the trip to make. If they don't get here soon then I will be forced to go and buy them some where else. I should look and see if I can borrow them from the library. I guess I can do that after class this evening.

Other than school... life is great. Being married is so good for me - a person who hates to be around people, but hates to be alone. I know it probably bothers Brandan that I never want to go out and do anything, but I try to step out and have some fun. It's hard. He spends all day at home, working, and wants to get out, and I spend all day out and about - and I just want to go home and stay there. We need to find the balance. Still working on it.

He is so good to me though, and I couldn't have asked for a better man. Life, for the first time in... ever... is purely good, and I love it, and him.

The whole story.

I have it all.

The groom, the dress, the petticoat.

The shoes, the flowers, the viel.

The table decor, flowers galore,

And we got it all on sale.

------------------------------------------------

Round and round again...

I feel like every time update it starts with "I haven't updated in a while." but to be honest my life is pretty crazy right now. I'm not working a "real" job right now - but helping the future in laws (FINs) remodel their entire house is almost like a fulll time job. Plus errands. I seem to run a ridiculous amount of errands. As soon as I'm done typing this up I am going to head out and go buy a new ligth bulb for my headlight, which decided to die two days ago..

A few days ago Brandan and I were offered tickets to go see the Red Sox play the Phillies in Philidelphia. So we road in his car for a few hours and then we got their, watched the Red Sox lose (sad day!) and then drove back. Today I got up and went with my family to get a tour of the Pentagon. I guess we got put on the list like two months ago. Who knew. I knew it was happening, but I wasn't sure when. So yesterday my mom called me and was like "are you going with us? we're leaving early?" What's a girl to do? I got up at 6 in the morning, and went to see the Pentagon. Nothing to special, to be honest. There is a lot more fun to be had in DC, so don't put it at the top of the list. Apparently we knew some one who died in 9/11 at the Pentagon. And I learned that there is one purple water fountain in the Pentagon because when they ordered the water fountains to put into the building, the company didn't have enough silver/gray ones, so they sent one purple one. lol.

It was a fun trip. Now I've got a list of things to do that is a mile long. Some times this week I hope to send out invitations, since today is officially two months away! Lots to do!

I need to get going and run some errands but who knows, maybe I'll update again before I get married!

PS: I built a website! You should check it out!!! www.reed2009.com

If you can't say anything nice...

Over the last week I have started many blog entries, but generally I get about two words in a realize I don't have anything nice or positive to say. It's kind of a problem. I am home for the summer, and getting used to living with a bunch of people who don't quite grasp "personal space" or "personal property" is very challenging.

Last summer flew by so quickly. This year flew by so quickly. For all the nights I spent whining and complaining to Brandan that time was never going to move and it was going to take forever for this summer to get here... I was wrong. It feels like just last month Brandan spent the night at my apartment for the first time, the weekend he helped me move in. Everything in between that is a blur. The week we spent together at Thanksgiving, the entire month that we were glued together for Christmas break. It seems like those long weeks in between visits were mere seconds now.

Considering how quickly a year has flown by (Brandan and I will have been together for a year this Thursday), I know that the next 95 days are just going to disappear. Sometimes I think "maybe I'm not ready for this" but I know it's what I want. I know that I am ready to start this new portion of my life. If 12 months seems like nothing, then three months is even shorter.

Lately I have been trying to just bite my tongue. I'm not very good at it, but I am sick of arguing with people. It's not worth my energy, and I don't want to spend the next three months just fighting. I want to remember the last three months of "single life" as something better. I don't know. I'm just kind of rambling now. It feels like, everytime I open my mouth, regardless of intention, some one takes it the wrong way, or twists it to something that they can be offended by. I hate feeling like I'm the bad person, and the only thing I can do is shut-up. I guess it's good practise.

Don't say anything at all.

When it rains it pours!

So, this is... ironic. Generally "when it rains it pours" I think of bad things, but at this particular moment, I'm thinking about all of the people who have helped me over the last few days. Aside from the guy hitting my car and that whole day, yesterday and today have been wonderful (in most regards) as well.

Yesterday I was packing up all of my stuff, and I had just started considering moving it to my car when the thunder rolled and the thought of lugging super heavy boxes from my car to K's basement was very un-appealing to me. I packed some more, and then realized it wasn't raining all that hard yet. I still wasn't excited about carrying some very heavy boxes (I know... who puts all of their dishes in ONE box... not smart people, that's for sure), and so I called around to see if any one could make a few trips with me to help me move my stuff. After two "no answers" I finally called a friend who lives way out in West Knoxville. He's rather reliable, so I knew he would answer his phone. I was kind of hoping he was home, so I wouldn't feel so bad about not wanting to move my stuff in the rain - but he was actually just across the street. I was pretty happy at this point, even in the rain - help is better than no help. But then he did me one better! He was like "there's a bunch of people here with cars, I'll ask them to come too!" And five minutes later I had three cars and three guys there to help me. 

I felt like crying.

Then today, I went and picked up the part for my car, and took it over to Bill and Jen's. I know Bill is pretty handy with automobiles, and I had asked him to help me. There was a bit more damage to my car than I had originally known, but Bill was able to fix it any way, with the help of a hammer and a zip tie. I know it's silly - but I am so greatful for both Bill and Jen! Bill has helped me so many times, and Jen has too. I know that I can rely on them, and trust them - and at a time when I feel uncomfortably alone and stressed, just knowing I have some good friends is very comforting.

Ok - enough mush.  <3

Rubbing my eyes to sleep...

So, I had a wonderful amazing day - and I was really excited to come and blog about it. But then I ate dinner, and told a bunch of people, and sat down, and played on facebook... and I'm a bit less motivated. Regardless - I feel like sharing. I'm going to number the "Happy Events" of the day, to make it easier to follow:

1. I finished my last exam this morning - and I am done for the semester!
2. My WEDDING DRESS IS HERE! Here being my parents' home - but that will be where I reside in just four days.
3. I packed up a good deal of all my stuff.
   
   Now the good stuff!
   
   
4. When I went to put the "good deal" of all my stuff in my car, my front blinker has been... shattered. The pieces where all over the ground. I wasn't too upset - it's the same side that got dented in April of last year. Figured it would cost $50 for the piece, and it look easy to repair... BUT:
   
   as I'm standing there I notice a guy standing by his car on his cell phone. I turned to him, to ask if he saw who hit my car and he was like "I hit it. I thought I was going to have to wait forever for you to come out here! Just let me know if you want me to pay for it, or if you want to go through insurance."
   
   What? He had been waiting on me for 30 minutes! Any who, I know that getting a ding on your insurence as a 20 y/o male is probably the last thing you want, and I was fine with having him just pay me for the parts. So he gave me his name, number, and insurence information - just in case.
5. I was ironically on my way to the store to buy more tape to close up my boxes, so I didn't have any tape to secure what was left of my blinker. I collected the pieces, borrowed some masking tape from the front desk, and then headed off to Kelsey's to drop of my stuff, since:
6. Kelsey is letting me store my stuff in her basement for free over the summer - and subsequently she is saving me a couple hundred bucks!
7. I got to Kelsey's, and awkwardly backed into her drive way. We each carried one box tot he basement, but these were not light boxes. I mean - I'm trying to pack efficiently, so as to not take up too much space in her basement. So these were "MAN" boxes. When we went out to the car, who should randomly be walking in front of her house, but a set of Elders! Yes. I know. How perfect? So the Elders came and helped us carry the rest of my MAN boxes down to the basement. I was so greatful at that moment. I don't get mushy too often, but after we finished and I was driving away - it felt like a hug from heaven. I knew at that moment that Heavenly Father was watching out for me - even the little things.
8. I went to Krogers and bought some tape. I then proceeded to put together the pieces of the broken plastic light covering. I was only missing a tiny piece on the bottom corner, but other than that - I taped it back on and the light looks fine, the bulb is protected, and it should hold for a while.
9. Leaving Kroger I decided to stop by an auto parts store. I had already gone to one, and they had told me they couldn't get me the piece I needed, but I was just crossing my fingers, figured since I was out that way I should try any ways, and low and behold! The guy ordered it, and it will be here on Saturday!
10. I called the guy who hit my car, and told him the price, and we were going to meet up - but I guess he was headed out of town when he hit me, and he won't be back until after I leave. So he's going to mail me a check - with the back up that... I still have his insurence info.
11. Got back to campus, parked my car, got and and started walking when to random guys walked up to me...
    
    "Did your car get hit earlier today?"
    "Umm...yes...?"
    "We saw the guy, and waited around to make sure he left a note or something so... did everything work out?"
    
    
12. Then I got to tell them that he waited for me to show up, and that everything is going to be a-okay!
    

So. Not only did I pass all of my classes with flying colors, but the guy who hit my car waited around to tell me, it's an easy fix, the missionaries had perfect time, I got some delicious KFC, I taped my car back together, and there were other people looking out for me! 

I'm definitely feeling the love. So... how was your day?

Zippidee-doo-daa, Zippidee-ay!

My oh, my - what a wonderful day!

So today Brandan got a letter in the mail. An official offer for the job! Yes. The dream job. I don't know if I've blogged about this before or not. 

A few months ago Brandan was e-mailing with the boss-man, from the summer internships he's worked up in DC for a government agency. He was e-mailing his boss to say he would not be able to take a full time position with them because he was going to be living in Knoxville TN (so I can finish school) and the boss-man said "Oh, well I still want you to work from me, so I'll hire you as a contractor and you can work from home."

Um. Yes. That really happened. Wowzers!!! lol. So in anycase. They had been hammering out details and even though Brandan felt like the job was the real deal, and it was happening and we were stable and didn't need to worry... I was worrying. What if things didn't work out. There was no back-up plan. That was it. Our only hope. So when he got the letter in the mail with the official job offer, and an actual $alary number, and information on health insurance and dental insurence and retirement plans and company investing and so and so forth!!! Yeah!!!

I guess he is still trying to bargain for a bit more $$$, but as of right now - life couldn't get better. My life became real when I got the ring, when I filled out the marriage application, when we started buying things together - for us, when I was looking at apartments, and imagingi our life together. But now - it is real. We're not poor starving college students any more. We've got a salary (!!!) and we're working on a budget and golly-jeepers it's exciting and scary and crazy all at the same time!!!

Plenty of sunshine coming my way, zippidee-doo-daa, zippidee-ay!

Umm... yah!

School is almost done. Here's the list of "to-do's"

Voice Jury

ASL Linguitics Exam

Special Occasion speech for Public Speaking

Pack

Clean

Get out of Tennessee for the next few months.

Yup - that's everything! Almost done... almost done...

On moving to Virginia:

Brandan (aka Hapmon) and I (Webstergirl) were having a lovely conversation earlier about the joys of moving north. This is my life.

Hapmon: I don't like the idea of commuting, but I feel like it's a necessary evil

Webstergirl: I know, it just seems more logical to live further south than to pay an arm and a leg to live up north.

Hapmon: no kidding!

Webstergirl: but, I love you, and if sacrificing my limbs will make you happy....

Hapmon: I understand... I'm trying to decide which will fetch a higher price. Your arms or your legs.

Hapmon: Maybe there's a doctor that could help me appraise them.

Webstergirl: I'm going to guess the legs.

Hapmon: Ah... I do like your legs though, this will requie more deliberation.

True love.

A perpetual state of boredom.

The list of homework continues to grow as my ability to pay attention slowly dimishes into nothingness.

I bought a wedding dress. Yes ma'am I did. (Ma'am because I don't think there are any boys who read this blog, but if you happen to be male, then insert "sir" into the predescibed slot). It is terribly cute and has been described as

"Unique!"

"Beautiful!"

and

"Fantastic!"

among other things. I don't really want to post a picture because occasionally Mr. B pops his little head in over here and I would hate to ruin the surprise! I will just say that there is a lace jacket and a large bow involved. Woot!

Also, in regard to wedding accomplishments:

• Designed invitations, and I'm a currently working on acquiring the needed supplies.
• Started working on the decor. We're having the ring ceremony and reception at my parent's home. Currently we are set to have an "au natural" ring ceremony, complete with picnic blankets, in a grove on their property, followed by a reception in the backyard under a canopy of lights and lanterns strung between the forest and the house.
• BRIDESMAID DRESSES! Yes, I picked them. Yes, they are freaking amazing. We are making them ourselves. My mom, and a friend of hers are, I'll help if I am in the right state at the time. But we choose dark brown and cream/khaki colored heavy linen fabric to recreate this beautiful 1950's wrap dress. the darker colorw ill be on the outside, while the lighter color will be on the under-dress bits.
• I have also managed to gather the majority of my addresses! Yeeeeha!

Aside from all of the wedding fun that I've been up to, I got to go home for Easter and see the fam. Mr. B and I drove up to north on Thursday, arriving in the wee morning hours of Friday. We then slept four a few hours before getting up and going over to his parent's home. There we were given a mutlitude of fun kitchen things and random furniture pieces for our future home. The rejects and mis-fits.

Saturday we spent the day with my family. The same amount of sleep was had, but the morning started with French toast instead of cheerios. I unknowingly dragged Mr. B to a fabric store with my mom and her friend. I thought we were just returning some fabric when, in actuality we were buying more. So B walked around looking at random art supplies while I was torchered into picking a dress pattern and fabric. It was bad. I had to watch him with his puppy eyes and growling stomach as he said "no worries, I'm fine." If I had known that was the plan, I would've left him at home! After the fabric store boredom we went home, dyed eggs, had company, ate dinner, played "never have I ever," had cake and rice-crispy treats, said goodnight to every one, and then stayed up until 1 am talking about finances.

Sunday I woke up thinking church was at 9, but it wasn't, so I went back to bed and got up at a more reasonable hour.

Food

Packed

Sacrament Meeting

Hugs

4 hours of driving

1 hour nap

4 more hours of driving.

Tennessee.

That was my weekend.

I have a friend who is hosting a bridal shower for me this Friday, so I am pretty excited about that. I don't really know what to expect, but I think I have about 10 friends who are going to come. It should be fun! And now I am just avoiding homework. I think I shall go and take my nap now. Woot!

A prior engagement...

So when Brandan and I decided to get married we had a few things to get in order first. At the time there was no ring, no official proposal. There was a promise - and that was enough.

This is the first picture of Brandan and I after we started dating. If you want to know more about each of us, check out our blog!

In May Brandan and I started dating, and I knew the first night that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He and I had been friends for many years, and he had seen me through so many hard times, that I honestly could not imagine my life with out him. I could go on and on about how perfect he is, and how he is the perfect compliment to crazy - me! A few weeks after we started dating the topic of marriage came up, and by the end of the conversation we had decided to get married.

Shortly after I told my parents we were going to get married, my mother offered a family heirloom diamond for us to use in my engagement ring. I'm a rather sappy person, so this was extremely exciting to me. My mom put the ring in a "tooth fairy" box that belong to my sister, and I gave the ring to Brandan.

(Apparently my picture went missing, I hate having

dead links. Maybe I will find the picture again....)

I was still learning how to use my camera, and I wish I had done a better job of photographing

this before we had the diamond reset. At least I have these pictures!

At the end of the summer I went back to school with a promise. The cat was out of the bag and every one knew our plans, but I was still ringless. I did not think this was a big deal, but apparently it is. Because Brandan had not officially proposed, I was subject to many awkward "So let's see that ring!?" moments, and then an explanation about the lack of gold on my finger. There wasn't much I could do about it though, with Brandan going to school 4 hours away we didn't get to see each other very often, but we probably spent more time talking than people who live in the same city.

Brandan and my parents made the eight hour trip with me and all of my belongings back to school. It was a long drive, but we made it one day. Brandan came to help me move in, and I was so greatful. It was the middle of August, and it was the last time we would get to see each other for a while. We spent the night in my new apartment, and the next morning I waived goodbye to Brandan, Mom and Dad. I cried. No lies.

A few weeks later I went to visit him. We had been talking about getting the diamond set, and I was worried he was going to spend too much money on it. I really just wanted something simple. So, instead of letting him flounder around and try and guess what I want, Brandan and I went to the local jewler at his school, and I picked out a simple gold setting. They took the diamond out of the original setting, and said it would be a week or two, that they would call Brandan when it was ready.

When the time rolled around Brandan called me to tell me he had picked up the ring. At this point I preceded to beg for a picture. He was relentless, and he said I would have to wait for it. I knew we would be seeing each other in a few weeks, so I knew that I was going to get it eventually, but I'm not very good at waiting!

Before I went back to school my Dad had bought two tickets to one of my University football games. I think he was planning on dragging my mom along, but the plans changed, and he brought Brandan instead - picking him up along the way. The evening of September 12th they rolled into town. My dad went off to meet up with some old college friends (He went to the same school I go to now) and Brandan and I decided to go for a walk. The weather was hot and balmy, that's September in Tennessee for you! I live really close to World's Fair Park, and so we walked over there. We wet up into the Sun Sphere because Brandan had never been up there, and then we walked around the park, eventually settling on a concrete bench on the pond, across from the sunsphere. I sat on the bench, and Brandan stood in front of me, holding my hands. He said some very sweet things, and then pulled the gold box out of his pocket and asked me to spend the rest of eternity with him. I don't remember if I actually answer him when he asked me to marry him. I was too busy kissing and hugging and trying not to cry - but I'm sure I got my point across. Walking back to my apartment I had the biggest smile on my face, and it felt amazing.

There you have it! These were the first pictures I took of my ring. My dad came back from his dinner, and I showed him. Of course - none of this was a surprise, but actually having something that makes it real feels good.

The next day Brandan and I met up with my Dad to go to the football game. I had a seat in the student section, but I moved into the upper level seating so I could sit with them!

My new ring with Neyland Stadium in the background!

Brandan and I infront of the opening "Power T"

The weekend felt so short. My dad left Saturday, and Brandan stayed the rest of the weekend - I drove him home the following Monday. Now armed with the commercialized symbol of Love I was off to show all of the people who had previous rolled their eyes when I didn't have "the ring."

Honestly, it is wonderful to have a physical reminder of the promises we've made to each other, but I think that the real testament to our relationship is the way my stomach flutters when I hear his voice, or when I feel like crying tears of joy everytime we are reuinited. He has always been there for me, and he has seen through so many hard times, that I know he's here to stay - he's mine for keeps. No amount of jewlery is going to prove that. That being said... I'll still take it if you're giving it to me!

Roll with the punches...

A few days ago some of my family told me that they would not be attending my wedding, for various reason. That really hurt my feelings. I've gone to their things, even though it was different from my own faith - but apparently tolerence only applies to certain people. It's disappointing, but I know that my family loves me, and it's going to be ok.

In other news! When that small internal crisis had passed, something else blows up. That something else being Becca's spleen. So... it hasn't exploded yet - but it sucks. A week ago she was diagnosed with mono, and they told her that he spleen was very swollen. So, they put her on some pain killers and told her to wait it out. Well... now she has a kidney infection, so she can't take the pain meds, OR her asthma medicines. It sucks to be Becca right now. I feel so bad and helpless. Not that I would be any more help if I were in the same state, but all I can do is spam her with messages of encouragment. 

Sometimes I just want a little sympathy. I want some one to say "yeah, that does suck - I'm sorry!" and then let me move on. When people tell me that my worries are not warrented, or that my feelings are invalid - it just makes me more upset. The last week has had plenty of emotional events, throw that on top of it being the week before the curse, and all I want to do is sleep. As I so ellogquently informed B-man this morning "the oxygen supply to my uteral lining has currently been cut off, and I don't know if that's ever happened to you - but it's rather painful right now... so give me a break. I'll be nicer tomorrow."

On a happier note! My bff Chrissy is coming down to visit me for her (super early) spring break. It is Wednesday, and she will be here on FRIDAY! Like... when I wake up tomorrow, I will be seeing Chrissy that next day. It is beautiful. We have Friday - Tuesday. My birthday is on Monday, and then she is going down south a little bit to visit some other friends, and then coming back up, stopping at my apartment for the night, and then Saturday she is driving home to NoVa and I am driving to VA Tech to pick up b-man, since he doesn't have a car. Then we get to spend a whole week together!

It really sucks being so far away.  For a while Brandan and I were reading scriptures together every night, but with the different homework loads (neither of us has as much as the other at the same time!) so we don't do it together very often. We have read books together, but we finished that one. I guess we're kind of taking a break from the reading together for a while. That's ok. I hate reading. We also send each other pictures so that there is always something new. I write him letters, and usually I scan and e-mail it to him, but once a week I actually write him a card or letter and mail it off.

I'm sure every one has spent some time away from their S.O., so how have you dealt with it? Did you have any "traditions" to help you guys stay on the same page?

How much more?

So the other day I wrote this beautiful long blog entry about getting engaged, and I included pictures and everything and it was so wonderful. I showed it to Brandan and it warented an "awww! I love you!!!" from him. That means it was good. In any case, Blogger decided it was not worth holding on to and has thus disappeared from any one's reading scope. Normally I would just re-write the entry, trying to recreate the feelings I was having at the time, but I am currently so over whelmed with negative emotions that any hope of rekindling that flame is gone, for now. One day I will get around to it again (and I will save it on my hard drive before publishing!). 

In the mean time, I am rather upset, as of lately. Some of my extended family has (not so) graciously informed me that either a) I am not planning a wedding that meets their expectations, or b) they would rather go on vacation. Yes. You read that correctly. Noting that the vacation plans where made months after I announced my wedding date AND them saying that the wedding is too close to school starting (let me get this straight... it's ok to go on vacation the week before school starts, but going to one of your counsin's weddings is too much to ask? Oh, you only have 8 counsins to begin with? oh... ok... I understand. not.) I'll just cut to the chase.

That really hurts my feelings that I do not deserve your love and support at this time. Heck, what is family for? In any case, I have been rather worked up over this whole thing, and I have a head ache, and I'm going to take a nap. 

The End.

Meh! Holy cow. lol. I'm just trying to get through my days right now. I know this seems lame - but after spending 10 days straight with Brandan I am constantly almost in tears because I can't stand being all alone. Boo. Thankfully Christmas break is just around the corner. Tomorrow I will edit my draft and finish my 10 page paper for Environment Issues, Tuesday and Wednesday will be devoted to my Child Psych exam. My other exams don't have a book, or a study guide - so that should be interesting. Ah! Now... it's 8 pm. I'm tired... soo guess what! I'm actually going to bed.

woot!

meh.

Oh goodness gracious great balls of fire. Maybe I'm experiencing a little case of jealously. I got engaged way back in... May techincally, but Sept 12 "officially" - and we're waiting until August to get married. A very close family friend just got engaged at the end of October.... and they are getting married in February. I don't know why it bothers me so much, maybe I feel like he's kind of showing me up, or maybe I'm just jealous that he'll be married before me - either way it really bothers me. I'll get over it.

ummm... what?

So... any one watch that presidential stuff last night? I'm slightly perturbed, but handling it well.

Buh bye Fulmer...

Spent the weekend with my Bran-man, drove back to UT Sunday night. I got to chat with my BFF Chrissy from high school, and then I spoke with my mom on the phone for a while. The four hour trip went by really quickly. That was nice.

When I went to get my football ticket today I found out that Phillip Fulmer has resigned. He will finish out the season, and then he'll be done. It's kind of a weird feeling - I mean, I knew it was going to happen, but it just seems so out of place. Who's the new coach going to be?

Other than that - all of the views that I follow are of people who are "recently" married, and those who have little tiny children and babies and ah! My ovaries are constantly twitching. Too cute!!! Ah!

I wish I could start this journal entry out with "Brandan and I went to the football game..." but alas, B-man is 250 miles away working his little heart out on a class project. I went to the football game with some friends from church though, and I had a really good time, despite losing. We were playing Alabama, and it was a decent game for a while, but honestly - I'm glad we lost because now there is a good chance we will get a new coach. Change is good.

I am no closer to having a wedding planned, but I am kind of leaning towards a light blue color. Maybe. I'm not sure. We'll see. That's all I have for this evening. I was waiting to read scriptures with the B-man, but he has a lot of work to get done, so it might just be me tonight.

Go Vols!

Looks like a small turn around. We kicked some butt this evening. There were only a couple of "Holy-cow-what-the-heck-are-you-doing-CATCH-THE-BALL!!!" moments. There were more "YEAH!" moments. So... that's good. In any case, Football = good.

I haven't seen Brandan in a week, and I don't think we're going to see each other again until the beginning of November. I keep pretending that it's not that bad, but it really sucks being so far away. We have 9 months and 28 days. Nine month and twenty-eight days until I can fall asleep next to B man every night and wake up twenty time in the night to make him stop snoring. Lol, romantic, I know. ;) It's just that he's four hours away, and it sucks. Mostly... I'm cold right now from being at the game and I wish we were snuggling right now. Boo.

New things in my life; I got my first credit card. Nothing too excited. I have a five hundred dollar limit, but that won't mean anything, since I have no intetions of every actually using it for more than 20 bucks a month. That way I know I can pay it off.

I had my first girl-dr visit last week. That was fun. I'll be starting birth control in a few weeks. Fun stuff, I know. I also had a dr. appt for my hip, and I have been sentenced to some more physical therapy. Probably a couple of months. We'll see. I don't know how the Christmas break is going to go with that - I will probably have to do stuff on my own. lol. I'm supposed to do that on my own any ways, I'll need to blow up my yoga ball again.

The end. I am just waiting for Brandan's game to end, so that he can call and we can read scriptures together. Then I'll climb into bed.

Virginia Technically...

So... right now I am sitting in the Computer Science "lounge" thingy at Virginia Tech while Brandan is chillin' it up in his Algorithms class. Yes - buckets and buckets of fun, I know. On Friday I drove up here to visit B-man for the weekend. The days just seem to fly by - I don't now where the time goes, but half of my wishes it would last longer, and the wiser smarter half of me goes "heck yes! We're getting closer to August!" lol.

Where did the time go, and why did it stop moving?

Summer came to a screeching halt as Brandan and I parted ways to head back to school. I'm all moved into my spiffy new apartment, I'm loving my roommates, and trying my best to enjoy UT. I had planned on transferring, and while that plan was very real, and very close to happening - even when I was "going" to BYU, it felt so out of reach - like I knew it would never physically materialize with me living it Utah. Brandan came down the second weekend in August and actually proposed - got down on one knee and asked me to spend eternity with him. I know I'm kind of breezing threw all of this, but eh! Oh well. lol. So, now I'm engaged, I have a ring (for some reason it's a big deal. My mom said "Well... since you have to be engaged for a year, at least you got a pretty ring to show people!" gah! I would rather just have my Bran-man.).

I'm loving my roommates, but especially my suitemate, A. She is hilarious. She is constantly talking about awkward things - but with out being terribly awkward. Fantastic! I feel empty if I don't see her all day. It seems like the summer went by so quickly, and now that I'm at school it's moving at a snails pase, but A helps things move along with her fantastic humor.

Last night I stayed up until... seven in the morning working on a stupid paper. Gah! Tonight I am going to my last few classes, then heading to wal*mart to pick up some stuff and then going to bed so that I can get up in the morning. I am leaving tomorrow to go up to VT to visit B for the weekend! I am terribly excited and I can't wait to hug him. Ah! I miss just being with him. :P

oh how the time flies!

So... my summer is nearly over. It's kind of crazy how things work out. I thought this summer would fly by quickly, and I can only hope that the year disappears just the same. B-man's baptism was yesterday! It was not a day I had ever dreamed of - but it was a fantastic day none-the-less. I am so lucky to have him in my life.

Last Thursday I drove up to his place, spent the night and then left with him and his brother & sister-in-law to go up north for a family reunion. It was interesting because my family doesn't do things like that... and if they do they don't invite me. Haha. There were a bunch of people there, I saw Tom and Hope again, as well as their kiddos... I really like seeing them. We stopped at their house on the way back to Virginia for dinner.

School starts in two weeks... which seems kind of ridiculous to me! I'm not ready for that. This year should be easier - especially since I have B-man. :D

Cookies, any one?

So today I started making chocolate chip cookies... but apparently today is not my day because I could not follow the recipe to save my life! I put the sugar in with the flour, and then had to kind of separate them because they were supposed to go into separate bowls and I did not have enough flour to just "start over." Then I put the baking soda in the sugar instead of the flour, and that was kind of difficult to fix as well. I microwaved the butter too long, so I had a bowl of mess, and I had to dig out little lumps of hard brown sugar from my almost finished batter. In any case, thank goodness that chocolate chip cookies are like the weeds of the baking world, because the batter turned out just fine - and who really cares what the cookies taste like. At my house the cookies hardly ever make it into cookie form any way. lol. Right now I've got a pan in the oven, and then another pan ready to go in the oven when that one is done. We are going to have at least 30 cookies... and then some cookie dough, or maybe I will make more cookies. Who knows.

B-man is coming over after work today to meet with the missionaries for the third time. We spent the weekend together, he went to church for the second time, and we drove up to the temple and went to the visitors' center up there. Then we took a short stroll around the temple. It was super hot outside. In any case, it was a good weekend, and since we've been spending quite a bit of time together I start to go through little withdrawals when I don't see him for a couple of days in a row. School is going to be absolute torture! he's coming over today, and then on Saturday I'll drive up there for the day. We've got some important things to take care of. Woot! Then we'll probably come back down here for church on Sunday. ((*first batch of cookies is a little darker than I would've liked. Boo.*)) In a couple of weeks I'm sure I'll have more (detailed) information, but until then... I can't really write anything. lol.

Work is going well: I don't mind the crazy morning hours, I'm not sick of it, I enjoy the people I'm working with, and I have a feeling that if I play my cards the right way I could end up getting a lot of hours. lol... really I should say "If I stop being lazy I could get a ton of hours!" But I'm not really a fan of sweat. Oh well. I have three batches of cookies now, so I should probably go invest in some milk... since apparently that is not something we keep on hand for the random from-scratch cookies that often appear out of thin air around here.

Right on Target.

So things have changed a lot since my last update. I'm not going to give too much detail right now - that'll come in a couple of weeks. BUT let's just say life is good. lol. I started dating Brandan about three weeks ago... three weeks and a couple days... I dunno. It was a Tuesday. In any case, he and I go "way back." We went to high school together in Germany for two years. We were in band together and we were both in the play "A Christmas Carol." Since then we've been really great friends - almost five years now. So that is going really well. Maybe it's just because we've known each other for so long, and we just get along really well - but I really love spending time with Brandan.

Ummm... not too much else going on. I got a job at Target working the flow team, so I start work at 4 in the morning, and then I am done by 10:30 in the morning. Yeah! lol. It's a lot of work, and it's kind of tedious work, but it's a lot more entertaining than being a cashier. I'm working with some neat people, and every one was willing to help me out. At target they call the employees "team members" and when I was working the front, I really didn't feel like a part of a "team," but working with the people in the back doing flow is fantastic because every one really works together.

Other than that - my feet hurt, I'm clean because I just took a shower. I miss B-man, and I want to take a nap... but I don't think I should. Unless it really is only a nap. I mean... if I wake up in thirty minutes or an hour - that would be fine, but the way I'm feeling... I'm more likely to just sleep the rest of my day away. I need to go get my prescriptions transferred up here, and then... hmmm.... yeah. Then maybe I won't feel bad about taking a nap. I did get up at 3:20 in the morning. Boo.

So... it's not really a journal - more like a bi-yearly chronicle or something...

Guys are still dumb - but life moves on. J apologized to me the other day for all of the Spring Break drama. Not really sure how things are going to work out, but we'll see. At least we're talking again.

I'm definitely going to BYU. I didn't even bother signing up for my UT classes... so now there isn't even another option. I'M MOVING TO UTAH! Crazy - I know. But it should be good for me, the last couple of months were pretty ridiculous, so a change of pace will be good for me.

Now I'm hoooooome with my family. <3 LOVE! I've got my baby (the dog!) and we slept on the floor together last night. That is always enjoyable. Especially loving the hard wood floors. Good choice there. lol. Gretel had a bit of her own drama a week ago when a tick embedded itself in her eyelid.... yeah - kind of bad placement. So my Mama had to rescue her. Gretel's eye was all infected and so they had to go to the Doggy Clinic, but she's doing much better now. She's always so happy when I come home, it just makes me smile because she kind of gets this little jump in her step. She's so beautiful. Jimmy the fluff ball is also doing well. Ya know: growing like a weed - a very small weed. Apparently he's not going to get very big. He'll keep his annoying little bark forever. Oh joy.

In any case, just figured I should up date since I'm in a new place, doing different things. As of now I'm working a couple of little part-time jobs for people, and looking for a real job for the summer. I have a feeling I could end up at PetsMart or something of the sorts, but I'm hoping to find something better. We'll see how it goes.

Maybe I should get better at this....

Ok... so I haven't written in a while... and I need to catch up with my 365-picture journal.... maybe I should be working on that. In any case, a lot has happened in the last... 5 months. It's crazy how time flies and life changes. I'm not a teenager any more (holy cow ridiculous!) and I'm definitely facing some things that I never would've imagined. In that last 5 months I have managed to:

• Get my heartbroken: I'm very good at this because I have managed to do this twice. For some reason I only date jerks (if you think that you're a nice guy... stay away!). Oh well, I have learned a lot of things I would've been fine with out, but I'm a better person for it. Things like what to do when you've watched every chick flick you own, how to eat too much ice cream, what happens when you choose to not leave your room for 5 days in a row.
• Survive a mental breakdown: This isn't as easy as it sounds. Despite having dealt with moving around my entire life, for some reason the last two years has been a little ridiculous. Well, throw in a little extra stress, a major lack of sleep, and too much homework, and things just start to fall apart.
• First car accident: It wasn't that bad... some one tried to merge into me on I-40... well, they didn't just try, they DID. So, now I have a lovely little dent in my pretty little car. It is quite the tragedy.
• Bronchitis: I had bronchitis for a month straight... yeah.... it was awful. Thankfully my lungs are only occupied by air and tissue again (less mucus...). You don't realize how enjoyable breathing is, until it's a very hard thing to do.
• Two months physical therapy: Yeah... oh well. Apparently I have "snapping hip syndrome" and "IT Band Friction Syndrome" (ask google...). Let's just leave it at "rather painful" and thank the physical therapy for quite a bit of exercise.
  
• Nanny: She's in the hospital. She's doing a lot better right now, but she's still in a lot of pain. Keep her in yours prayers bitte!
• Transfer: I applied to BYU way back when I was beginning my mental break down. It was done in a "I hope this goes through quickly so that I can leave Tennessee ASAP" but it didn't actually work out like that. So instead I found out over Spring break that I had been accepted... right after i had decided I was probably not going to get in. So, I did get in, and now I am going. Yeah... me... moving to UTAH!!!! It should be interesting.
  

So... that's quite the list. BUT it's okay. Why? Because I know that everything I've been going through has made me a better, stronger person. I have lost some amazing friends because I was too stressed and busy worrying about things I didn't have control over. I lost friends that I really cared about, and who really cared about me. But it's okay, because it's over, and I'm back on the straight and narrow... headed to Utah.