Ba-hum-bug.

30 minutes until "Christmas" and I didn't get my mom's present finished... well, I didn't get her SECOND present finished. I got her a piece of... well, she collects these figurines, and I got her one of them, but it was so impersonal. So... today we took family pictures, and I have this frame form target to put like... 5 different pictures in the frame, and I cleaned the entire downstairs (which in all actuality is a REAL accomplishment...). But any who. I am kind of ready for the commercialized holiday that we celebrate to be over. GAH. Not that I'm a grinch... trust me, i love christmas as much as the next guy.... but I am too tired to explain my feelings right now, so I am going to bed...


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!

I see you doing lots of homework....

Your schedule for SPRING 2007 is:

Acad Disc	Title	Course Number	Instruction Mode	Time	Days	Instructor	Credit Level	Credit Hours
ED INTER	ASL 2	226	LECTURE	05:05P-07:45P	M	OSBORNE, TERRY E.	U	3
ENGLISH	Inquiry into Madness	102	DISCUSSION	08:00A-08:50A	MWF	ABERNATHY, JESSICA LEIGH	U	3
MATH	Mathematical Reasoning	113	LECTURE	03:40P-04:55P	TR	TURNER, MATTHEW D.	U	3
MUSC ENSBL	Concert Choir (By Audition Only)	380	ENSEMBLE	12:20P-02:15P	MW	BATEY, ANGELA LYNN	U	4
PHILOSOPHY	Contemporary Moral Issues	242	LECTURE	05:05P-06:20P	TR	RIKER, WALTER J.	U	3
PSYCHOLOGY	General Psychology	110	LECTURE	09:05A-09:55A	MWF	SAUDARGAS, RICHARD A.	U	3

Woot woot.

Dear Dallas

I'm not really sure what to say to you. I know we kind of ended the summer on a bad note...more, I ended the summer on a bad note, and I don't know if you over analyze things like I do, but I've done a lot of "growing up" this year. I wanted to talk to you about when I randomly called you, but you were with your family, and I couldn't. You really had been on my mind that day, and I'm not sure if I told you why. Lol, it was actually very amusing. This guy was talking about some road-kill story, and I guess it had the same affect as the kamikaze bunny...or what ever it was, I don't even remember, but he was like "Jessica, are you all right? You kind of look funny..." and I wanted to attempt to tell him about you nearly running over that thing, but I figured it wouldn't of been funny to them. Oh well.

I hate thinking. I really do. I mean, I gah. lol. When it comes to you, I never have the right words to explain what I am trying to say, but I've realized that it's been awhile since I tried talking to you, and that I have come to a realization. you were my one and only. you were my shining star. my light in the darkness, your eyes still make me weak, your touch still makes me blush, your voice still takes my breath away, the thought of you makes me smile. but they always will... you were my first love. they say you never really fall out of love with your first love. i believe it. i just had to tell you myself. i've finally moved on. i've finally let myself. i'll never forget you or how you made me feel. i'm a better person because of you. for the longest time I've been saying that I regretted what we did, and ever being "involved" with any one, but the truth is, I don't, it just hurt too much to admit that not only had I loved being in love, but that it was over and gone a long time ago, and probably my fault.

I guess you could say I've matured a little, and I hope that we can at least be acquaintances, keep in touch, be friends. I know you kind of wanted this before, but then well, Thanksgiving and the summer pretty much left me in a big puddle of confusion. But it doesn't matter now. Can we start over? Just friends. Please.

-Jessica

I have a big bed

webstergurl06 (3:01:03 AM): do you still live with a parent?
The1 AndOnly (3:01:08 AM): yeah
webstergurl06 (3:01:12 AM): hehe
webstergurl06 (3:01:15 AM): lol
The1 AndOnly (3:01:19 AM): but you can stay in my room
The1 AndOnly (3:01:32 AM): i have a big bed
webstergurl06 (3:01:35 AM): woot!
webstergurl06 (3:01:36 AM): lol
webstergurl06 (3:01:44 AM): if I come down, I'm probably going to stay at Michelle's
The1 AndOnly (3:01:50 AM): oh ok
The1 AndOnly (3:02:08 AM): dang got my hopes up then crushed them
webstergurl06 (3:02:11 AM): haha
webstergurl06 (3:02:17 AM): we'll see what we can work out

eh... was that an attempt to get in my pants that I completely BLEW UP! hahaha....it didn't even occur to me that he was coming onto me until...well...he'd left. haha. oh well.


hahahahaha... good times.

Time to sing.

As the "ker-plink" of hail hit the window of my dorm room, I get about for AIM messages of "OHMIGOODNESS...it's snowing." to which I am required to reply..."Honey...snow doesn't sound like that." lol. Looking outside it is like a snow/hail bit. It's a mix.

Tonight: Finish one page. Double spaced. Size 12. This may not seem like a challenge, and it shouldn't be. But I've already spit out 4 and a half on this topic, and I'm kind of out of things to say. AH!

Friday: YSA Christmas Party, Princess Party/Girl's night

Saturday: Study for math exam, go ice skating?

Sunday: Church, visit w/ Heather and Jenn, Church Christmas production

Monday: Study more for Math Exam, Caroling Gig

Tuesday: Math Exam

Wednesday: Study for Sociology Exam

Thursday: Sociology Exam, Caroling gig, ice skating/ family home evening

Friday: Drive home

Saturday: Sleep

And then life will be good. This next week could not possibly go by any faster. I am now going to go and finish this paper, and then go to bed! But, before I do that, let me enlighten every one to what has be doing the happy dance:

MY ROOMMATE IS MOVING OUT!!!!

and that is all. Good night.

Paulo, oh Paulo, where for art thou...

I feel like i hardly post to my journal any more, and when I do it's because I feel like I haven't., GAH. lol.

I know I haven't really written about the drama in my life, partly because it's easier to pretend it's not there and just ignore it, and partly because I'm been too busy writing my English Papers to even consider spending extra time on typing in my journal. So, what prompted this random "POSTPOSTPOST!" happiness? Earlier in the month I posted a "wish-list" sort of thing on the holiday_wishes community that had been spotlighted, and today I got a card from a random girl, and she sent me a blank postcard as well!!! YEAH!

I miss Paul. I miss Paul in the "I-feel-like-my-life-is-falling-apart-be

cause-I-am-so-freaking-lonely-and-we-hardly-ever- talk-any-more-and-I-don't-ever-want-to-lose-you-because-you're-the-best-friend-in-the-world-
and-life-would-suck-with-out-you" sort of way. and thus, I send him postcards. So when I got a random postcard from the middle of nowhere GA it makes me very happy. lol.

Also, I have decided that I will not be driving home until this Friday.

I think I'm falling for some one who is so off-limits it's not even funny.

I have an english paper to go and write. Shoot.