If you can't say anything nice...

Over the last week I have started many blog entries, but generally I get about two words in a realize I don't have anything nice or positive to say. It's kind of a problem. I am home for the summer, and getting used to living with a bunch of people who don't quite grasp "personal space" or "personal property" is very challenging.

Last summer flew by so quickly. This year flew by so quickly. For all the nights I spent whining and complaining to Brandan that time was never going to move and it was going to take forever for this summer to get here... I was wrong. It feels like just last month Brandan spent the night at my apartment for the first time, the weekend he helped me move in. Everything in between that is a blur. The week we spent together at Thanksgiving, the entire month that we were glued together for Christmas break. It seems like those long weeks in between visits were mere seconds now.

Considering how quickly a year has flown by (Brandan and I will have been together for a year this Thursday), I know that the next 95 days are just going to disappear. Sometimes I think "maybe I'm not ready for this" but I know it's what I want. I know that I am ready to start this new portion of my life. If 12 months seems like nothing, then three months is even shorter.

Lately I have been trying to just bite my tongue. I'm not very good at it, but I am sick of arguing with people. It's not worth my energy, and I don't want to spend the next three months just fighting. I want to remember the last three months of "single life" as something better. I don't know. I'm just kind of rambling now. It feels like, everytime I open my mouth, regardless of intention, some one takes it the wrong way, or twists it to something that they can be offended by. I hate feeling like I'm the bad person, and the only thing I can do is shut-up. I guess it's good practise.

Don't say anything at all.

When it rains it pours!

So, this is... ironic. Generally "when it rains it pours" I think of bad things, but at this particular moment, I'm thinking about all of the people who have helped me over the last few days. Aside from the guy hitting my car and that whole day, yesterday and today have been wonderful (in most regards) as well.

Yesterday I was packing up all of my stuff, and I had just started considering moving it to my car when the thunder rolled and the thought of lugging super heavy boxes from my car to K's basement was very un-appealing to me. I packed some more, and then realized it wasn't raining all that hard yet. I still wasn't excited about carrying some very heavy boxes (I know... who puts all of their dishes in ONE box... not smart people, that's for sure), and so I called around to see if any one could make a few trips with me to help me move my stuff. After two "no answers" I finally called a friend who lives way out in West Knoxville. He's rather reliable, so I knew he would answer his phone. I was kind of hoping he was home, so I wouldn't feel so bad about not wanting to move my stuff in the rain - but he was actually just across the street. I was pretty happy at this point, even in the rain - help is better than no help. But then he did me one better! He was like "there's a bunch of people here with cars, I'll ask them to come too!" And five minutes later I had three cars and three guys there to help me. 

I felt like crying.

Then today, I went and picked up the part for my car, and took it over to Bill and Jen's. I know Bill is pretty handy with automobiles, and I had asked him to help me. There was a bit more damage to my car than I had originally known, but Bill was able to fix it any way, with the help of a hammer and a zip tie. I know it's silly - but I am so greatful for both Bill and Jen! Bill has helped me so many times, and Jen has too. I know that I can rely on them, and trust them - and at a time when I feel uncomfortably alone and stressed, just knowing I have some good friends is very comforting.

Ok - enough mush.  <3