Meh! Holy cow. lol. I'm just trying to get through my days right now. I know this seems lame - but after spending 10 days straight with Brandan I am constantly almost in tears because I can't stand being all alone. Boo. Thankfully Christmas break is just around the corner. Tomorrow I will edit my draft and finish my 10 page paper for Environment Issues, Tuesday and Wednesday will be devoted to my Child Psych exam. My other exams don't have a book, or a study guide - so that should be interesting. Ah! Now... it's 8 pm. I'm tired... soo guess what! I'm actually going to bed.

woot!

meh.

Oh goodness gracious great balls of fire. Maybe I'm experiencing a little case of jealously. I got engaged way back in... May techincally, but Sept 12 "officially" - and we're waiting until August to get married. A very close family friend just got engaged at the end of October.... and they are getting married in February. I don't know why it bothers me so much, maybe I feel like he's kind of showing me up, or maybe I'm just jealous that he'll be married before me - either way it really bothers me. I'll get over it.

ummm... what?

So... any one watch that presidential stuff last night? I'm slightly perturbed, but handling it well.

Buh bye Fulmer...

Spent the weekend with my Bran-man, drove back to UT Sunday night. I got to chat with my BFF Chrissy from high school, and then I spoke with my mom on the phone for a while. The four hour trip went by really quickly. That was nice.

When I went to get my football ticket today I found out that Phillip Fulmer has resigned. He will finish out the season, and then he'll be done. It's kind of a weird feeling - I mean, I knew it was going to happen, but it just seems so out of place. Who's the new coach going to be?

Other than that - all of the views that I follow are of people who are "recently" married, and those who have little tiny children and babies and ah! My ovaries are constantly twitching. Too cute!!! Ah!

I wish I could start this journal entry out with "Brandan and I went to the football game..." but alas, B-man is 250 miles away working his little heart out on a class project. I went to the football game with some friends from church though, and I had a really good time, despite losing. We were playing Alabama, and it was a decent game for a while, but honestly - I'm glad we lost because now there is a good chance we will get a new coach. Change is good.

I am no closer to having a wedding planned, but I am kind of leaning towards a light blue color. Maybe. I'm not sure. We'll see. That's all I have for this evening. I was waiting to read scriptures with the B-man, but he has a lot of work to get done, so it might just be me tonight.

Go Vols!

Looks like a small turn around. We kicked some butt this evening. There were only a couple of "Holy-cow-what-the-heck-are-you-doing-CATCH-THE-BALL!!!" moments. There were more "YEAH!" moments. So... that's good. In any case, Football = good.

I haven't seen Brandan in a week, and I don't think we're going to see each other again until the beginning of November. I keep pretending that it's not that bad, but it really sucks being so far away. We have 9 months and 28 days. Nine month and twenty-eight days until I can fall asleep next to B man every night and wake up twenty time in the night to make him stop snoring. Lol, romantic, I know. ;) It's just that he's four hours away, and it sucks. Mostly... I'm cold right now from being at the game and I wish we were snuggling right now. Boo.

New things in my life; I got my first credit card. Nothing too excited. I have a five hundred dollar limit, but that won't mean anything, since I have no intetions of every actually using it for more than 20 bucks a month. That way I know I can pay it off.

I had my first girl-dr visit last week. That was fun. I'll be starting birth control in a few weeks. Fun stuff, I know. I also had a dr. appt for my hip, and I have been sentenced to some more physical therapy. Probably a couple of months. We'll see. I don't know how the Christmas break is going to go with that - I will probably have to do stuff on my own. lol. I'm supposed to do that on my own any ways, I'll need to blow up my yoga ball again.

The end. I am just waiting for Brandan's game to end, so that he can call and we can read scriptures together. Then I'll climb into bed.

Virginia Technically...

So... right now I am sitting in the Computer Science "lounge" thingy at Virginia Tech while Brandan is chillin' it up in his Algorithms class. Yes - buckets and buckets of fun, I know. On Friday I drove up here to visit B-man for the weekend. The days just seem to fly by - I don't now where the time goes, but half of my wishes it would last longer, and the wiser smarter half of me goes "heck yes! We're getting closer to August!" lol.

Where did the time go, and why did it stop moving?

Summer came to a screeching halt as Brandan and I parted ways to head back to school. I'm all moved into my spiffy new apartment, I'm loving my roommates, and trying my best to enjoy UT. I had planned on transferring, and while that plan was very real, and very close to happening - even when I was "going" to BYU, it felt so out of reach - like I knew it would never physically materialize with me living it Utah. Brandan came down the second weekend in August and actually proposed - got down on one knee and asked me to spend eternity with him. I know I'm kind of breezing threw all of this, but eh! Oh well. lol. So, now I'm engaged, I have a ring (for some reason it's a big deal. My mom said "Well... since you have to be engaged for a year, at least you got a pretty ring to show people!" gah! I would rather just have my Bran-man.).

I'm loving my roommates, but especially my suitemate, A. She is hilarious. She is constantly talking about awkward things - but with out being terribly awkward. Fantastic! I feel empty if I don't see her all day. It seems like the summer went by so quickly, and now that I'm at school it's moving at a snails pase, but A helps things move along with her fantastic humor.

Last night I stayed up until... seven in the morning working on a stupid paper. Gah! Tonight I am going to my last few classes, then heading to wal*mart to pick up some stuff and then going to bed so that I can get up in the morning. I am leaving tomorrow to go up to VT to visit B for the weekend! I am terribly excited and I can't wait to hug him. Ah! I miss just being with him. :P

oh how the time flies!

So... my summer is nearly over. It's kind of crazy how things work out. I thought this summer would fly by quickly, and I can only hope that the year disappears just the same. B-man's baptism was yesterday! It was not a day I had ever dreamed of - but it was a fantastic day none-the-less. I am so lucky to have him in my life.

Last Thursday I drove up to his place, spent the night and then left with him and his brother & sister-in-law to go up north for a family reunion. It was interesting because my family doesn't do things like that... and if they do they don't invite me. Haha. There were a bunch of people there, I saw Tom and Hope again, as well as their kiddos... I really like seeing them. We stopped at their house on the way back to Virginia for dinner.

School starts in two weeks... which seems kind of ridiculous to me! I'm not ready for that. This year should be easier - especially since I have B-man. :D

Cookies, any one?

So today I started making chocolate chip cookies... but apparently today is not my day because I could not follow the recipe to save my life! I put the sugar in with the flour, and then had to kind of separate them because they were supposed to go into separate bowls and I did not have enough flour to just "start over." Then I put the baking soda in the sugar instead of the flour, and that was kind of difficult to fix as well. I microwaved the butter too long, so I had a bowl of mess, and I had to dig out little lumps of hard brown sugar from my almost finished batter. In any case, thank goodness that chocolate chip cookies are like the weeds of the baking world, because the batter turned out just fine - and who really cares what the cookies taste like. At my house the cookies hardly ever make it into cookie form any way. lol. Right now I've got a pan in the oven, and then another pan ready to go in the oven when that one is done. We are going to have at least 30 cookies... and then some cookie dough, or maybe I will make more cookies. Who knows.

B-man is coming over after work today to meet with the missionaries for the third time. We spent the weekend together, he went to church for the second time, and we drove up to the temple and went to the visitors' center up there. Then we took a short stroll around the temple. It was super hot outside. In any case, it was a good weekend, and since we've been spending quite a bit of time together I start to go through little withdrawals when I don't see him for a couple of days in a row. School is going to be absolute torture! he's coming over today, and then on Saturday I'll drive up there for the day. We've got some important things to take care of. Woot! Then we'll probably come back down here for church on Sunday. ((*first batch of cookies is a little darker than I would've liked. Boo.*)) In a couple of weeks I'm sure I'll have more (detailed) information, but until then... I can't really write anything. lol.

Work is going well: I don't mind the crazy morning hours, I'm not sick of it, I enjoy the people I'm working with, and I have a feeling that if I play my cards the right way I could end up getting a lot of hours. lol... really I should say "If I stop being lazy I could get a ton of hours!" But I'm not really a fan of sweat. Oh well. I have three batches of cookies now, so I should probably go invest in some milk... since apparently that is not something we keep on hand for the random from-scratch cookies that often appear out of thin air around here.

Right on Target.

So things have changed a lot since my last update. I'm not going to give too much detail right now - that'll come in a couple of weeks. BUT let's just say life is good. lol. I started dating Brandan about three weeks ago... three weeks and a couple days... I dunno. It was a Tuesday. In any case, he and I go "way back." We went to high school together in Germany for two years. We were in band together and we were both in the play "A Christmas Carol." Since then we've been really great friends - almost five years now. So that is going really well. Maybe it's just because we've known each other for so long, and we just get along really well - but I really love spending time with Brandan.

Ummm... not too much else going on. I got a job at Target working the flow team, so I start work at 4 in the morning, and then I am done by 10:30 in the morning. Yeah! lol. It's a lot of work, and it's kind of tedious work, but it's a lot more entertaining than being a cashier. I'm working with some neat people, and every one was willing to help me out. At target they call the employees "team members" and when I was working the front, I really didn't feel like a part of a "team," but working with the people in the back doing flow is fantastic because every one really works together.

Other than that - my feet hurt, I'm clean because I just took a shower. I miss B-man, and I want to take a nap... but I don't think I should. Unless it really is only a nap. I mean... if I wake up in thirty minutes or an hour - that would be fine, but the way I'm feeling... I'm more likely to just sleep the rest of my day away. I need to go get my prescriptions transferred up here, and then... hmmm.... yeah. Then maybe I won't feel bad about taking a nap. I did get up at 3:20 in the morning. Boo.

So... it's not really a journal - more like a bi-yearly chronicle or something...

Guys are still dumb - but life moves on. J apologized to me the other day for all of the Spring Break drama. Not really sure how things are going to work out, but we'll see. At least we're talking again.

I'm definitely going to BYU. I didn't even bother signing up for my UT classes... so now there isn't even another option. I'M MOVING TO UTAH! Crazy - I know. But it should be good for me, the last couple of months were pretty ridiculous, so a change of pace will be good for me.

Now I'm hoooooome with my family. <3 LOVE! I've got my baby (the dog!) and we slept on the floor together last night. That is always enjoyable. Especially loving the hard wood floors. Good choice there. lol. Gretel had a bit of her own drama a week ago when a tick embedded itself in her eyelid.... yeah - kind of bad placement. So my Mama had to rescue her. Gretel's eye was all infected and so they had to go to the Doggy Clinic, but she's doing much better now. She's always so happy when I come home, it just makes me smile because she kind of gets this little jump in her step. She's so beautiful. Jimmy the fluff ball is also doing well. Ya know: growing like a weed - a very small weed. Apparently he's not going to get very big. He'll keep his annoying little bark forever. Oh joy.

In any case, just figured I should up date since I'm in a new place, doing different things. As of now I'm working a couple of little part-time jobs for people, and looking for a real job for the summer. I have a feeling I could end up at PetsMart or something of the sorts, but I'm hoping to find something better. We'll see how it goes.

Maybe I should get better at this....

Ok... so I haven't written in a while... and I need to catch up with my 365-picture journal.... maybe I should be working on that. In any case, a lot has happened in the last... 5 months. It's crazy how time flies and life changes. I'm not a teenager any more (holy cow ridiculous!) and I'm definitely facing some things that I never would've imagined. In that last 5 months I have managed to:

• Get my heartbroken: I'm very good at this because I have managed to do this twice. For some reason I only date jerks (if you think that you're a nice guy... stay away!). Oh well, I have learned a lot of things I would've been fine with out, but I'm a better person for it. Things like what to do when you've watched every chick flick you own, how to eat too much ice cream, what happens when you choose to not leave your room for 5 days in a row.
• Survive a mental breakdown: This isn't as easy as it sounds. Despite having dealt with moving around my entire life, for some reason the last two years has been a little ridiculous. Well, throw in a little extra stress, a major lack of sleep, and too much homework, and things just start to fall apart.
• First car accident: It wasn't that bad... some one tried to merge into me on I-40... well, they didn't just try, they DID. So, now I have a lovely little dent in my pretty little car. It is quite the tragedy.
• Bronchitis: I had bronchitis for a month straight... yeah.... it was awful. Thankfully my lungs are only occupied by air and tissue again (less mucus...). You don't realize how enjoyable breathing is, until it's a very hard thing to do.
• Two months physical therapy: Yeah... oh well. Apparently I have "snapping hip syndrome" and "IT Band Friction Syndrome" (ask google...). Let's just leave it at "rather painful" and thank the physical therapy for quite a bit of exercise.
  
• Nanny: She's in the hospital. She's doing a lot better right now, but she's still in a lot of pain. Keep her in yours prayers bitte!
• Transfer: I applied to BYU way back when I was beginning my mental break down. It was done in a "I hope this goes through quickly so that I can leave Tennessee ASAP" but it didn't actually work out like that. So instead I found out over Spring break that I had been accepted... right after i had decided I was probably not going to get in. So, I did get in, and now I am going. Yeah... me... moving to UTAH!!!! It should be interesting.
  

So... that's quite the list. BUT it's okay. Why? Because I know that everything I've been going through has made me a better, stronger person. I have lost some amazing friends because I was too stressed and busy worrying about things I didn't have control over. I lost friends that I really cared about, and who really cared about me. But it's okay, because it's over, and I'm back on the straight and narrow... headed to Utah.