Dear Dallas

I'm not really sure what to say to you. I know we kind of ended the summer on a bad note...more, I ended the summer on a bad note, and I don't know if you over analyze things like I do, but I've done a lot of "growing up" this year. I wanted to talk to you about when I randomly called you, but you were with your family, and I couldn't. You really had been on my mind that day, and I'm not sure if I told you why. Lol, it was actually very amusing. This guy was talking about some road-kill story, and I guess it had the same affect as the kamikaze bunny...or what ever it was, I don't even remember, but he was like "Jessica, are you all right? You kind of look funny..." and I wanted to attempt to tell him about you nearly running over that thing, but I figured it wouldn't of been funny to them. Oh well.

I hate thinking. I really do. I mean, I gah. lol. When it comes to you, I never have the right words to explain what I am trying to say, but I've realized that it's been awhile since I tried talking to you, and that I have come to a realization. you were my one and only. you were my shining star. my light in the darkness, your eyes still make me weak, your touch still makes me blush, your voice still takes my breath away, the thought of you makes me smile. but they always will... you were my first love. they say you never really fall out of love with your first love. i believe it. i just had to tell you myself. i've finally moved on. i've finally let myself. i'll never forget you or how you made me feel. i'm a better person because of you. for the longest time I've been saying that I regretted what we did, and ever being "involved" with any one, but the truth is, I don't, it just hurt too much to admit that not only had I loved being in love, but that it was over and gone a long time ago, and probably my fault.

I guess you could say I've matured a little, and I hope that we can at least be acquaintances, keep in touch, be friends. I know you kind of wanted this before, but then well, Thanksgiving and the summer pretty much left me in a big puddle of confusion. But it doesn't matter now. Can we start over? Just friends. Please.

-Jessica